Here we are again. The end of the year is a
couple of hours away. Where has 2013 gone? I’ve stopped wondering about the
passage of time. I accept it as something that keeps moving forward with or
without my participation. This is why I’m learning to live more in the moment
than in my past or in what is to come.
As
has been my practice for a few years now, I always take a moment to review my
year. Many things have happened for the past three hundred and sixty some odd
days. I’d like to take a moment to share some of the most pertinent ones.
A Year of Being Busy
The
beginning of 2013 found me juggling multiple projects. I wrote four books in
three months. A personal best for me. Editing those books and the ones I’d
submitted at the end of 2012 followed. I can honestly say all my months were filled
to the brim with work. This is a wonderful thing.
When
I used to work fulltime, being busy meant having a toxic schedule. This was
especially so when I was a teacher. From checking papers to creating lesson
plans to putting tests together, I never ran out of things to do.
Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy this kind of work. I loved my students, don’t get
me wrong, but the work…I shudder just thinking about it.
Now
that I’ve dedicated myself to writing fulltime, I’ve never been happier to be
busy. In fact, I get the shakes when I’m left idle for too long. I’m always
working on something new. At the final hours of 2013, I’m elbow-deep in writing
and editing Relish; I’m collaborating on a novel with my long time critique
partner and sister in writing; I’m gearing up to rewrite one of my favorite
novels of all time; and I’m in my third pass edits for Til Death. If I didn’t
love what I was doing, I would call this a toxic situation. But because I wake
up every morning rearing to go, the work is what I look forward to the most. I’ve
never been happier than when sitting in front of my laptop transferring the
scenes in my head onto paper.
Learning to Let Go
I
consider myself a sensitive person. I remember many of the things that happened
in my life. Some of the not so good ones I tend to hang on to. At the end of
2012, I made a commitment to let go of the baggage I carry around. This included
letting go of people in my life I’ve grown apart from. I kept telling myself,
what good were they sharing in my life? The ones that brought me down I cut off
like unwanted ballast. This process was a painful one. I really had to dig
deep, tell myself I can keep going, and actually take the steps that would lead
me away.
I’ve
also learned to let go of things I cannot change. The past is no longer an
issue for me…most days. I have to be honest; there are days when it’s not easy.
Sometimes I remember something that happened years ago that still pisses me
off. But I’ve learned to pause, take a deep breath, and let go.
Another
form of letting go is not holding on too tightly. Things will happen in their
own time, you just have to be prepared when they do. Just because I want
something right now doesn’t mean it is the right time to have it. I’ve learned
to take a step back and see the bigger picture. By no means am I a hundred
percent proficient in this, but I’m trying.
A Year of Self-Discovery
I
think this is because I’m getting older. I’m learning more about what I really
like. My real guilty pleasure? All-You-Can-Eat Japanese Buffet. When I’m there,
I eat to my heart’s content. When it’s over and my stomach is full to bursting,
I feel all guilty inside. Yet I’m willing to do it all over again. *laughs*
What
is my one luxury? Traveling to Singapore for three days and two nights. That’s
really all I need to clear my head and refresh myself. It’s become a bonding
experience with my mother. We save up for an entire year, split the costs, and
go shopping. Why Singapore? Well, you only have to sit in a plane for three
hours and you’re somewhere else. And it’s a place my mother has come to love. I’d
promised myself that I would return when I first went there so many years ago.
Now I make it a point to at least visit once a year.
And
I’m a shopaholic no more. I’ve learned which brands I like. I know the silhouettes
that suit my body shape. Also, I know my size. I don’t buy shoes like a fanatic
anymore. I go for comfort with a flare toward my personal style. I know maxi
skirts suit me more than knee or calf-length. A-line dresses are a must.
Blazers as well. I’m no longer afraid of the cardigan. Oh, and leather jackets
too. As for shoes? It’s boots or wedges. I hardly wear pumps anymore or open
toe. Heels are still important, but not the life-threatening kind. Comfort…can’t
emphasize this enough.
Strengthening Relationships
With
time moving the way it does, I’ve learned to value my relationships with those
I love. Now more than ever, I don’t take for granted how much time I have with
someone. I’ve cancelled RT and a chance to moderate a panel there because I
value what remaining time I have left with my father.
2013
also found me deepening my ties with my mother. We have found an equilibrium we
both can handle. We share everything. We still have our moments. Two women with
equally explosive tempters? But we laugh more than we fight. We tease each
other, make each other smile. And when we need to get away from life, we always
have Singapore.
My
relationship with my brother is ever an evolving one. We are growing up at
different paces. He slower than most. But I can see now that he gets to where
he needs to be eventually. I can’t hurry him in any way. Of course, this annoys
me sometimes. Especially when I’m hormonal. But my brother’s capacity for patience
rivals that of a saint. He’s forgiven me more times than I can count. I cherish
that more now than ever.
Wishes for 2014
For
my family, I wish continued health and happiness. As long as we have each
other, we can weather anything that comes our way.
For
my friends, I wish you joy. Thank you for being in my life and for showing me
what true friendship means. You light up my life.
For
my editors and publishers, I wish you all continued success. I wouldn’t be
where I am today without your guidance. I’ve learned so much from each of you,
and I look forward to learning more. Thank you so much for putting up with me.
For
the bloggers, I wish you happy reading. What you do is invaluable to authors.
Your enthusiasm is lifeblood. And the support you continue to give cannot be
repaid. Thank you for reviewing books, posting cover reveals, and participating
in tours, blitzes, and whatever else we have come up with to promote our work.
We would be lost without you.
For
my readers, I wish you all the best and more. Thank you for taking a moment to
pick up my books and reading them. Thank you for sharing your joy for my work
with others. Thank you for writing reviews and posting them. Thank you for
being you for what is a writer without a reader?
And
for myself? I wish for another wonderful busy year. I wish to reach more
readers. And I wish to continue to grow as a person and as a writer. I’ve
realized there are times when I rub people the wrong way. I may have said the
wrong thing or expressed myself the wrong way in an email or a tweet. It’s
difficult to convey proper emotions in text, but I’m a writer, I should know
better. To those I have wronged this year, I sincerely apologize. Know that I
did not do it out of malice. I accept the mistakes I have made because they
have taught me to be better, to do better. This is why I’m excited to face
2014.
Here’s
to another year of living, loving, and most of all, writing!
Happy
New Year, my lovelies!
